Things to remember...

I've been home with the kids alone for the past couple of days while Keith is out with the YM of the Branch on a "High Adventure" to Chicago. When Keith is gone, it's interesting to see our day change. There is no change to the cadence of our day because it lacks the shift that happens when Daddy comes home. This has positives and negatives. For me, I don't stress as much about making a real meal--the kids rarely appreciate me making efforts greater than spaghetti, so why bother with no one else to impress? I also don't have to worry about getting time in with the kids, so I can put them to bed when the rhythm of the day best suits it--whether later or earlier than normal--(usually earlier).

I think the Lord has been supporting me the past couple days though as I've had good moments of insight or peace. Yesterday was a particularly hectic evening. Abby hadn't wanted to be put down all day--she wasn't settled unless I was holding her, she didn't even like her swing. So by the end of the night when the kids were finally in their beds, and Abby was finally sleeping peacefully-I set her down in her bassinet. She usually does well at night in it, but last night she woke up soon after. A little frustrated that I still wasn't going to be able to do the picking up and straightening that I wanted to, I picked her up and figured I'd get her diaper changed and see if she settled down better. Well, no one loves a diaper change like Abby--really, she is the happiest baby when you change her diaper. Well she just beamed at me as soon as I started to change her--she coo'd and babbled to me the whole time with a huge grin on her face. I cannot resist that smile. My mood lifted and I thought how blessed I am to have a sweet baby to care for. This stage of total dependence on and adoration for me won't last long and soon she'll be as busy and independent as her siblings. So, I picked her back up and finished my chores one armed, with her snuggled close in my other arm. I'm getting pretty good at most tasks one handed.

As I cleaned and picked up, I thought of the fleetingness of some other things in my life right now with all my children small. Like garbage cans filled to their brims with diapers and band-aid wrappers for my children that need one for every scrape and bruise and hurt they have (and as active children, they have a LOT). Their bathroom almost always smells a little of pee-pee from my potty training duo--are they ever fully potty trained? Cleaning up their messes before they hurry to get back to whatever they were doing? Or sinks with blue bubblegum smelling toothpaste smears. Legos and transformers, baby dolls and brushes. Toys somehow scattered in every corner, marking the trails of children in constant play. Books scattered on the floor, pushed under the chair so that mommy can get out before dawn, because they're always asking for one more. My house is never fully clean, but I get to see the sleepy smiles of my baby as she dreams happy dreams.

My dishwasher is full of sippy cups, the garbage full of ketchup smeared plates and half eaten chicken nuggets. And my heart if full of love for the precious ones that put them there. Someday I won't spend my evenings finishing putting things back in order, someday I won't be the only one wiping floors and tables. But I'm grateful I get to sacrifice a bit of my time and wants so that I can be mom--someone's whole world for a brief time.

And I'll be really glad to have Keith back home to share it with again!